"Luggage To Stuff"

Bergruntha, come quickly! Jerome, be advised!
Theres LUGGAGE TO STUFF in the witness's eyes!
His dilated pupils are quite over-sized,
so fetch me a suitcase and let's improvise!

His eyelids are open, his irises green,
his carry-on maxed out the weighing machine!
His punishment needs to be publicly seen,
we'll lube up his bags with a case of visine!

Bergruntha, the bonesaw! Jerome, the scotch tape!
This witness's eyeballs are driving me ape!
His face will soon take on a curious shape...
but that's what you get when you try to escape!

"So, what did he see?" you may question surprised,
"to warrant a bag being stuffed in his eyes?"
The answer, my friend, is as easy as pie:
He witnessed yours truly admiring his thighs.

If he had not seen me, if he had not cared,
he wouldn't be screaming and tied to a chair,
but something annoyed me, the way that he stared,
he thought I was gay...and it's not true, I swear!

Jerome and Bergruntha, for now and herein,
will help me absolve this young witness's sin,
for when we are through, he'll be full of chagrin,
and bags won't be under his eyes, they'll be in...