"Calligraphy Scallion"

Caligraphy Scallion proposed legislation
to Senators grand and elite:
"I'm leery of sustenance in this great nation...
let's make it illegal to eat!"

The Senate, intrigued by his new-age proposal,
decided to hear out the bill,
though grassroots support would be stiff and immobile,
he'd seen the law work in Brazil.

"See, calories never did NOTHIN' for NO ONE!"
he stated whilst slamming his fist,
"I'd rather be shot by a poisonous blow gun
than munch on a satchel of chips!"

"Unless I'm mistaken," one Senator stated,
"Don't people need food to survive?"
"Of COURSE not, Caligraphy Scallion debated,
it's starving that keeps you alive!"

The Senate, compelled by his rational pleading,
soon signed the young bill into law,
aware that the subsequent legal proceeding,
would draw a collective "Hurrah!"

Caligraphy Scallion concluded the session,
the Senate recessed until Spring,
when scientists championed food repossession,
he'd know that he'd done the right thing.