"Demented Uncle Soupface"

Demented Uncle Soupface was a swine to end all pigs,
who bore his children in a boat, then locked them in the brig,
"Please let us out!" the children yelled, "We're skinnier than twigs!"
but all he did was cackle as he danced a merry jig.

Demented Uncle Soupface coaxed a tapeworm up his nose,
whilst trying to find a reason for his legs to decompose,
when suddenly his hair turned blonde as Marilyn Monroe's,
he danced along the boardwalk with his testicles exposed.

Demented Uncle Soupface was the sanest of the sane,
whose common sense was envied o'er the land and 'cross the plain,
his children (though he loved them dear), did nothing but complain,
but soon they'd see what it was like inside their Uncle's Brain...